… I didn’t get the chance to blog. It was a typical stressful Sunday dealing with tears, tantrums and mess from the bonus children. I understand that they are only kids and that they have had to deal with a lot of change over the last few years (their parents separating, both then finding new partners, their mother getting pregnant again -oh yes- and having to get use to sharing their dad with me and my children) but dealing with their atrocious behavior every weekend is really doing my head in. I am a very patient person but one day I fear I’m just going to snap.
Because Sunday is the only full day a week Trent has off we often have to head down to the shops to get some things because he can’t do it any other day. Mundane things like buying new shoes or socks, stocking up on random camping and fishing gear for upcoming Christmas camping trips, food shopping, that kind of thing.
But I’m afraid I just can do it anymore.
From now on, he is on his own when it comes to Sunday shopping trips because I refuse to accompany his children.
Yep, it has come to that. I don’t want to be seen with them. From the constant nagging to buy stuff to the running up and down the aisles totally out of control I’ve just had a gut full.
They ran into at least three people because they don’t look where they are going, two children went missing in two different stores because they just wander off and don’t pay attention to where we are (or because they are throwing a tantrum for whatever reason). They can not walk past something without touching it. Constantly pulling shit off the shelves or knocking over displays.
It. Is. Embarrassing.
Especially when people look at me like I’m their mother and it’s my responsibility to control them, like I’m the one who has fucked up parenting skills and hasn’t taught them basic respect for other people or property.
I know it may sound harsh but I don’t want to be associated with them in public until they learn to behave like humans instead of little feral animals, therefore I shall not be going back to the shops with them all next week.
Trent is on his own.
Try as we may to teach them the correct way to act, we only have them one and a half days a week. Every behavior problem we try to retrain is lost every time they go back to their mum and so they come back the following week completely forgetting everything we have said. We try to set up our own system of rules for our home but they come back after a week with her and all those rules have been forgotten.
They only way to get through to them all and establish a normal routine would be to have them more often but we can’t because we have no room and she decided to move them 45 minuets away so we can’t even take or pick them up from school a few times a week. It just isn’t going to work logistically. It’s a nightmare with no resolution.
They aren’t really always bad… It just feels like they are sometimes. And it’s hard that I never seem to get a break away from children. If its not mine it’s his or all of them together. It never ends and sometimes I just get overwhelmed by all the noise and mess.
Although it may sound bias, I don’t blame Trent for their bad behavior at all, he is a good dad. He disciplines them when he needs to, shows them kindness, love and respect the rest of the time. Does all the right things. I believe children model the behavior shown to them the most often and take part in bad behavior that is usually most ignored. Since for the past two years they have been with their mother and her boyfriend for six days out of the week it is obvious where the behavior comes from. It’s just frustrating that we have to spend a good chunk of the weekend pulling them back into line and telling them the right way to behave.
Everything from not talking with your mouth full, to not running in the house or slamming doors, to not riding your bike on the veranda to not stealing things that don’t belong to you (and borrowing without asking is the same as stealing).
Really, I’m fairly sure that by nine years old you should already be aware of all those basic rules of society.
Wow. That ended up being a really big rant. Sorry, but it feels good to vent and clear all that out of my head, although I’m fairly sure it’s probably quite inappropriate to be writing all of this for the world to see. But, then again, creating an unrealistic illusion of reality doesn’t benefit anyone. Things are not always perfect and shiny over here and these are just some of the things I deal with on a regular basis.
But today is another day and I have a whole week to refresh my attitude and renew my enthusiasm to see them again on Saturday. And on top of that daylight savings is back which means they can all spend longer playing outside every weekend instead of making mess in the house. Now that’s something to look forward to