His ninth birthday began with him taking two steps out of his bedroom door and throwing up.
Thankfully that was the worst of it, after a few hours sitting on the couch not moving and visibly willing himself to be ok, we decided to go ahead with his party plan. We were meeting three of his friends at the cinema to watch the new Kung Fu Panda movie. He was determined to not let a bit of gastro stop him from having fun. Besides me pestering him all day to not eat too many lollies and constantly asking if he was okay, you wouldn’t have even known he was sick. It has now done the rounds in our house (Noah had it first, then charlee, then me on my birthday and then koby on his…each time it was passed on to someone else it seemed to get less severe) so hopefully that’s the last of it.
He ended up having a good time which was the most important thing. He also scored lots of very cool presents which will hopefully keep him busy during the school holidays that start at the end of next week.
I have a terrible memory, but i can still remember the day he was born. My contractions started at about 2am, i remember not being able to get to sleep and needing to pee every half an hour. By 8am i was pretty sure i was in labor. He was three days overdue, he was technically meant to be due on my 21st birthday. Luke was not impressed because i had been teasing him all week that i would go into labor on that day, knowing he had a band gig scheduled for that afternoon. They had been working up to it and were looking forward to the exposure and chance to play for a crowd. I think he thought i did it deliberately to piss him off. He seemed to think i did things like that on purpose a lot of the time. Just to piss him off and make his life hell, like i could possibly control the urge to give birth. But he still loved me back then, so he forgave the inconvenience pretty quickly.
I remember the trip to the hospital being incredibly painful. Car ride + contractions = ouch. I don’t remember a lot of the actual birth though, i was in labor for a pretty long time but not really getting anywhere fast. My blood pressure was too high and i wasn’t dilating fast enough. I vaguely remember lots of people walking in and out and lots of worried whispered conversations between my mum and the doctor. Luke kept coming and going, refilling the cloth with ice i was using, trying using to lower my temperature and getting water. I do vividly remember the Ob finally saying “we’re going to have to take her to theater and do a cesarean”. I remember thinking “about fucking time”. It was about 10pm ish by that stage and from that point everything happened really fast. I had a spinal block put in and i had almost instant relief. I was talking and more with it than i had been for hours. I knew Luke wouldn’t come into the theater with me, so mum was there.
Thirty minuets later he was born, kicking and screaming with a cone head from being wedged into my too small pelvis. All 8lbs. 10 oz.of him. Twenty minuets later, in recovery, we called him Koby Ethan. My whole life changed. All my priorities suddenly shifted and my world started revolving around him. Nothing else mattered, nothing else was important. That hasn’t changed, my heart has just swelled to include two more little bodies in it as well, and now everything revolves around all three of them at once. He is brilliant. He is so smart, smarter than me. His brain works quickly and he is already better at maths and spelling than me. He has a typical boyish sense of humor and also a quick temper. He gets frustrated when he can’t do something perfectly the first time, or if something goes wrong or strays from the plan. He is affectionate and very sensitive, he will cry if he is happy, sad, angry, embarrassed or scared. In that way he is more like me than Luke, he is in many ways actually…but i guess you see what you want to see.
He is practical and likes attention. He is popular and has lots of friends and he is always wanting to impress people and can sometimes get a little too fixated on what others think of him and what he should do to be “cool”. He is hovering between wanting to hold onto being a child but also wanting to be older and independent. He pushes the boundaries constantly and keeps me on my toes.
I love him and still just stare at him in wonder sometimes, amazed that he is here and that he is mine.